Archive - August, 2008

Kenya – Young Adult Volunteer (YAV) Year

The Waterbed Fiasco

In my ever growing brilliance, I decided to do the following during my last week before Kenya: wrap up my 12 weeks of hospital chaplaincy (CPE), exactly one week after CPE is finished, take Presbyterian Ordination exams (ords are the bar exam for Presbyterian ministers) 3 Friday and Saturday; plus 1 more which I receive the paper topic at noon Saturday and have until Thursday to complete, but I am leaving Tuesday morning at 6 AM for orientation for my Kenya trip. After I told my mom this grand scheme, she said “that’s not the brightest idea.” I hadn’t really thought of it that way until she put it so kindly, moms… Any who, while doing all of this I also had to officially move out of my apartment which brings me to my entertaining story of the day.

I have been working on my time management skills since college because they were “lacking” then, but I have gotten much better in seminary. Therefore, I had been moving out of my apartment in increments. Each day I would move some bo-jazz and then on Thursday I would check out of my apartment right before ords. Seemed simple enough. So, I saved moving my waterbed for the last day, Thursday (yesterday) because I like to sleep. Yes, my immediately family all have waterbeds, representing. I called around Austin Wednesday and found a Home Depot that had a waterbed pump. Everything was in place which is a sign disaster would ensue.

I awoke at the wee hour of 9 AM and ran over to the Home Depot to rent the waterbed pump. I returned home and headed downstairs to find a water hose, it was muddy. I ran back up to the third floor and plugged everything in and turned on the pump and nothing happened. The pump was making the “pump noises,” but would NOT take the form of a verb and pump. I noticed the hose had a hole in it so I decided to go back down and find another muddy hose. Rinse, lather, repeat. Same problem. I ran downstairs and found the bestest hose in all the land, muddy of course and returned once again to no avail. At this point, I determined that even though the pump is making noise, it is not pumping. It took me 3 hoses… So I ran back to Home Depot and told them their pump’s broken. They told me it was not. I asked them to test it and they then returned to tell me it’s broken, to which I replied “I know.” They called the “north” home depot and asked if they had a pump, they said they did so I was off on another quest at now 12:30 PM. I arrived at Home Depot #2 and asked for the waterbed pump. They told me that they didn’t have a waterbed pump. I told them, well they called here about 20 minutes ago and you said you had one then. A younger gentleman walked out of the back office scratching his head and looked at me and said, “yeah that was me. Sorry I misunderstood them. We don’t have a waterbed pump.” This was when I had to count to 3. Then an older employee who had been listening to the conversation came over and asked, “how high is your waterbed?” I held my hand 3 ft off the ground. He said “no, what floor are you on?” I’m on the third. The old man said, “Well, all you have to do then is put one end of the hose in your bed and the other out the window and then go downstairs and suck on the hose.” I replied with a half-hearted, “alright.” I returned home slightly frustrated and fatigued by trying to figure out my current quandary in life. After entertaining some brilliant ideas of changing the time-space continuum, I succumbed to sticking one end of the hose in the bed and the other out the window, I ran downstairs, lied on the ground and starting sucking and 20 seconds later I was choking on glorious water. It was the happiest I have ever been while choking! The waterbed was completely drained in 20 minutes, thank you old man.

Back to studying for ords.


I was blessed this past week by the timing of my required psychological evaluation for ordination because it took me home for my brother’s 20th birthday and for one last hoo-raw in OklaHOMEa before I leave for Kenya. It was also frustrating because it was a quick trip so I didn’t get to say goodbye to everyone I wanted, but I got to spend time with my family and a few Broken Arrow friends.

Throughout college and in seminary, I have come to realization that I am an oddity (and not in the way you’re thinking) because my family has lived in the same house for 25 years. Since I am 24, that house is the only home I’ve ever known as…home. Therefore, when I say I’m going home it has a different meaning for me than most people. I am going to the house where I can explain every patched hole in the wall with a rousing story, locate every light switch blindfolded, and yell a family members name and get a response. Not to mention, the parentals pay for everything! Therefore, I love home!

Any who, I got to surprise my little brother for his birthday and go out with the family to Olive Garder, (or as Patrick calls it “the OG”) his favorite restaurant. The next day my two best friends from Broken Arrow came over, Brad and Josh (and Josh’s wife, Laura), and we took over the world by means of a 1999 computer game. Then Gina, Brad’s wife, joined us and we all went out to dinner. It is amazing that at 24 the three of us are still able to get together every now and again. I don’t think we realize how amazingly blessed we are by each other.

Sunday, I was liturgist and was asked to tell the congregation what I was doing/attempting to do currently…it took a while…and reminded me that I have a lot to do. Then that night my family was invited over to the Carter’s house for a very relaxing, delicious dinner of catching up and conversation with Richard, Mary, Brian, Cynthia, Austen, Taylor, Mike, Alice, and my family. I was reminded of how I love my home church and home people.

Monday, Brad and I beat Super Mario Brothers 3 in an hour and a half. It used to take us four days to do that when we were in the third grade. Therefore, we felt amazing. It was also Brad and Gina’s 2-year anniversary so I assisted in distracting Brad from preparing the dinner he was making for her.

Tuesday, I was evaluated psychologically for 5 hours.

Then I went over to Josh’s new house and later his parents took us out to the best BBQ in Broken Arrow, Wild Bills. Amazing people and BBQ, my favorite combo plate. Then I went over to visit Crystal, another best friend from high school, who I hadn’t seen or talked to in a long time. It was great to catch up with her and see her new house. Apparently, we’re getting old…and houses.

Each night my family would get into our new spa for 20 minutes and talk. Quite ingenious, one cannot take electronics like TVs/PCs into water…yet. Therefore, we had to sit down as a family and talk. Excuse #37 to buy a spa. The next morning my family drove me to the airport at 6 AM and my trip home was over. Time is getting quicker…it must be working out.